Its always been him
by joyincreation
Summary: Rory finds a letter that will seriously change everything, and explains alot about the LorelaiJess relationship. Lit. Not a one shot.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I was just reading this story about how Lorelai dies and her letter to Rory made me cry so hard, but then I got thinking about what Lorelai's letter would say, I mean it's just to freak sad so please read and read the second chapter you may be surprised to see what happens.

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Dear Rory,

How do I tell you how much I love you? I know while your reading this, how much I love you isn't what you need to hear, but it is what I need to tell you. You don't have a daughter and I always hoped I would get to see your kids but things happen kid and we just have to deal with them. Since you don't have a daughter you can't even begin to understand how much I love you, until you have a daughter, someone who just makes everything real and is the main reason you do anything, I can't even put it into words. You've always thanked me for things like getting you into Chilton, but can't you see that, that was the least I wanted to give you? Please be sad, its better than being mad or bitter or feeling lost because babe you have always known where you were going. The girl that had planned everything since her birth, should not feel lost. Do what ever you've wanted to ever do. Go bungee jumping. Get a tattoo. Or just do something that I would do. What ever you need to do. And honey I know your not ready to hear this, but since I'm gone I know I have to tell you. He's the one. You have always known he was, hell I always knew he was maybe that's why I hated, no I never hated him, maybe that's why I never fully let him in, because I knew he was the one person that could take you from me. Not even my death could take you from me but he can. He has made mistakes, and he regrets them, I know he does. He grew up like I did. When everything around you is cold you have to protect yourself from it, I used humor, while he just pushed everything out. He wasn't lying when he told you he loved you. He's always loved you that's why he runs, you scare him to death. I bet your wondering how I know all this, well sweets its because we're alike, more than anyone thinks, he reminds me so much of myself it scares me a little, but its also how I know he won't run again. So baby don't be sad for to long I loved you, if for some stupid reason we were in a fight before I died, just remember nothing has ever been your fault. Not a thing. I love you more than life its self and that's why death cannot keep me from you. Oh and you know who he is but since your so like me with the coffee addiction and great taste in men, I also know how stubborn you'll be and refuse to see who I'm talking about. Its Jess, Its always been Jess.

Love,

The Infamous Lorelai

I love you.

A/N: working on the next chapter I just thought Lorelai's chapter should be all by itself.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: You guys are in for a shocker.

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"Mom!" Rory screamed through the crap shack after she had finished reading Lorelai's letter with tears staining her face. 'Mom?"

Rory sat quietly for am minute thinking about what her mom had said. _How could mom think he's the one, I mean sure he said he loved me, but the one? And she understands him? How can she understand him? Why didn't she tell me she felt this way, I would have listened. Mom I really need you right now._

At just that moment Lorelai decided to enter her bedroom, when she found Rory with an open shoe box and a letter in her hand she immediately went to hug her.

"Baby why are you crying?" Then she saw which letter Rory was holding and held her tighter. "Oh, you baby you weren't supposed to see that, you weren't supposed to see that."

"Mom?" Rory said when she finished crying.

"Yeah babe?"

"Did you mean what you said about Jess? I mean he just told me he loved me like a week ago."

"Yeah, I know baby but I wrote that letter 2 years ago and I've added onto the Jess part since then, and it still applies babe, I truly believe what's in that letter, its always been him."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rory asked not getting upset.

"Because, it just didn't seem like something that even if I did tell you, you would listen. You're stubborn kid and if I had died then I had to let you know even if you disregarded all my advice you had to know."

After another long silence "Well, what do I do now?"

"You have to wait I know he just said I love you and it seems like you should go rush after him but babe, he needs to come back."

"But how long am I gonna have to wait?"

"Liz is getting married. Luke told me he convinced Jess to come and its on the Saturday after finals, can you make that?"

"Well I have a final that day but I can take it on Thursday and come back late on Friday, do you really think hell be there?"

"For Luke…yeah I think for Luke he'll be there, he's grown up a lot kid he does things like this now."

A/N: sorry about leaving it kind of weird. Lorelai is alive, yeaaahhhhh!!! Sorry for the drama I just couldn't kill her, you know. So Rory just found the letter while she was looking for something else. Oh and I'm sorry Jess isn't in this chapter I promise he will be in the next one.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I am so sorry I totally forgot to tell you guys when this was, okay Its right after Jess said "I love you" in season 4 but before the inn opens. Oh and just so we can like Jess a little more (although do we really need help) he stayed for a little while after he said I love you and when and understandably shocked Rory doesn't say anything back then he leaves. K?

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Liz's wedding. Rory is helping her mom fix Liz's dress (but doesn't really get to)so Liz and Rory can bond, but other wise its pretty much the same.

"Mom, I thought you said he was going to be here, where is he?" Rory asked rushing into Ms. Patty's studio to find her mom.

Liz looked up from where Lorelai was fixing her dress and Lorelai shook her head at Rory trying to tell her not to talk in front of Liz.

"Mom, there you are, where is Jess you said he'd be here?" Rory said so focused on seeing Jess that she didn't notice that Liz was right there.

"You're looking for my Jess? Well he's probably at Luke's getting ready and reading, he always does that and I could never figure out why." Liz mused not knowing who Rory was. "So how do you know my Jess?"

"Oh…I'm Rory and…" Rory said stunned to have been obsessing over Jess with his mom right there.

"Oh your Rory, Luke has told me about you, you're the one that my Jess is so in love with, well I want to thank you then because Luke told me how much you changed him and I don't think that the old Jess would be here right now even for me or Luke, so thank you so much." Liz said hugging Rory near the end of her speech.

"I really don't think I did all that and from what he's told me he would have come here for you." Rory said smiling and hugging her back, her nerves were going so crazy that it was nice to be hugged even by someone you just met.

Rory mouthed at her mom 'bridge' and left Ms. Patty's studio for the bridge. When she got there she saw Jess just like she thought she would and pulled a letter from her pocket to give to him.

"Hey." Jess said not even turning around, already knowing who she was.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the carnival." Rory said unsure of how to start this.

"Its cool I probably shouldn't have said anything." Jess said trying to sound calm but his insides were about to be pulled out from just looking at her.

"Jess don't say that…I just didn't know…Okay I still don't know what to say so just read this and know that everything it says is true." Rory said sitting down next to him and handing him the letter.

Jess read it twice just to make sure of what it said. Jess looked up at Rory and whispered something that she couldn't quite make out.

"Does she really mean it?" Jess said again louder noticing the confused look on Rory's face.

"Every word,"

"What about you?"

Rory look a deep breath and began. "That letter made me realize that I love you, I've said it before and I don't think that I ever really knew what love was until I meet you, I know that sounds completely corny but its true, when I said it to dean what I really meant was I care about you, but I wasn't in love with him, you however I completely fell in love with and it just put me up there, like I was on a pedestal, I was going to Chilton I was about to go to Yale I had a boy friend that I was falling in love with, I was just on a pedestal, and when you left…I feel off of it, you put me so high up there that it hurt like hell when I feel off…like broke both my legs and collar bone hurt…and I need a steadier pedestal now, because while I do love the feeling of being up there, the fall down scares the hell out of me."

"Rory, I'll be the freaking empire state building for you." Jess said leaning in to kiss Rory.

"Good because all that swaying on the arch we've been doing is making me nauseous." Rory said leaning in and kissing Jess for the first time in almost a year. (A/N: the Arch in St. Louis sways over an inch in 20 mile winds.)

"I'm sorry." Rory whispered when they finally pulled away.

"Oh I'm sorry I just thought that we were finally…never mind." Jess said disappointed that him and Rory weren't getting together.

"I'm sorry that I didn't say I love you back, stupid." Rory said kissing him again.

"I love you, Rory."

"So I've heard, and I love you more than is physically possible." Rory said kissing him for the third time.

"So, does this mean I have to move back here?" Jess said after they had finished kissing and she was sitting in his lap.

"For at least a while, I need you and we can't do this if your not here, so can you stay for the summer?" Rory said glad Jess couldn't see the scared look she had on her face.

"I can stay as long as you want me to." Jess said kissing her ear driving her crazy, but in a good way.

"Jess what time is it?" Rory asked pulling away.

"Its…oh my god I'm gonna be late to walk my mom down the isle!" Jess said standing up and pulling Rory with him.

"You're walking your mom down the isle?" Rory asked trying hard no to laugh.

"Just shut up and run." Jess said trying to give Rory a death-stare but couldn't hold back laughter either.

A/N: well sorry its short I know its longer than the other but I wanted it to be longer. Okay here is the deal im not posting another chapter until someone can tell me shy "Guns of Brixton" is special to Rory and Jess, I know it is but why, did I miss an episode?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry it took me a while I've been sick lately and typing made me nauseous for some weird reason. So last time we left off Jess and Rory were running to the wedding, but here's the thing I really don't want to do the research that would be involved to write about the wedding accurately so watch the episode.

The wedding was exactly the same except for everyone kept staring at Rory and Jess and Luke and Lorelai kissed instead of just dancing.

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"I can't believe your making me go to this!" Jess said for the umpteenth time that day.

"Yes you can, its my mom's inn and you're my boyfriend, and I would think even if we weren't together Luke would still make you go, after all I think he and my mom need some supervision, or else they may just jump each other in the middle of dinner, and why exactly don't you want to go, its not like a town event where you have to go and do things its just a nice relaxing weekend in a inn, is this about my mom because I thought you guys were cool after the whole letter thing?" Rory said packing some clothes for the weekend while Jess lay on her bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"No, your mom and I are very cool after the letter, it's just the people that will be there, we don't exactly get along do we?"

"Ahh townspeople we'll how about you stay close to me the whole evening and we can go to bed early, I'll even let you read me Hemmingway." Rory said laying down next Jess on the tiny bed and kissing his chest.

"Rory, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Jess said looking down at her.

"We'll I've been thinking about it for a while now and today I just got up and I felt…I felt ready, and tonight will be special, not just another Tuesday, you know, it's a really important day for my mom and Sookie, it just feels…"Rory said trailing off.

"Right?"

"Yeah, plus you feel right, first real love and everything you know?"

Jess never answered but kissed her deep and sweetly, letting her know how much he loved her, but not the sort of kiss that would lead to anything. Rory reciprocated running her hands up his shirt, both knowing that right now this wouldn't lead to anything, it was more like…practice. They had only been together a week and the make-out sessions had been re-progressing slowly. Rory and Jess took it to the brink, only stopping when they were afraid they wouldn't have anymore self control and Jess left.

In another half an hour Rory was ready to go but waited for Lorelai to finish.

"Mom, hurry up Jess already left and you're taking so long." Rory finished as her mother started down the stairs.

"Okay, lets go, we have to get there before the towns people get there, you know Taylor he'll probably be there an hour ahead of time with his own towels!" Lorelai said as they ran out to the car and started over to the Dragonfly.

When they arrived Rory went over to the reception desk to help show people to there rooms and get everything started. Lorelai went straight into the kitchen to get the coffee she would desperately need.

Jess and Luke were the first people to get there and went straight to the reception desk where Rory was waiting to take them to there room. (The doors got there on time so less craziness.)

"Hey guys you're here early people aren't supposed to get here for another half hour." Rory said smiling and kissed Jess quickly.

"Yeah, well we thought that we could get here before all the crazy people do, get a better room." Jess said while Rory grabbed their keys and gave one to each of the boys.

"Well considering we chose these rooms over a week ago I seriously doubt that you could have gotten a better room, but thank you I could really use at east two people that aren't freaking out." Rory said grabbing Jess' hand as they walked up the stairs when she did Jess could feel something small and metallic separating their hands, and when she pulled away to put the covers down he saw that it was a key with the number 5 stamped on it. _Oh so now I'm being slipped room keys, this should prove interesting._

"Well I'm going to go see how your mom is doing I bet she'll want this." Luke said pulling out a Luke's coffee cup and walking out the door.

"Oh so I see that there is no coffee for me in there." Rory said looking into the bag and pouting.

"In there no, see you have to work for yours." Jess said holding up the coffee and raising his eyebrows.

Rory smiled devilishly and kissed Jess so hard he nearly dropped her coffee.

"Like that?" Rory said grabbing the coffee and taking a long sip.

"If you hadn't just slipped me your room key then we would have to have a serious conversation about you being a tease." Jess said pulling back her coffee and kissing her with even more passion than she just had.

"Well before you can use that key I have to go talk to my mom, because letter or no letter she will castrate you if you sleep with her baby girl if I don't tell her first." Rory said pulling away from the kiss and slipping out of the room leaving Jess to read until dinner.

When Rory finally got downstairs everyone was in there room and settled. She looked around the inn until she finally saw her mom talking with Michel.

"Hey mom can I talk to you?" Rory asked interrupting the conversation.

"Is it important?" Lorelai asked starting to get worried.

"Yeah, but don't worry nothing bad happened I just really need to talk to you can we go outside?" Rory asked leaning towards the door.

"Yeah sure babe…what is it?" Lorelai asked when they got outside.

"Remember how I always told you I'd tell you before, we'll I'm telling you now…I'm ready." Rory said confident that she was ready if she could talk so openly about this with her mom.

"Do you really think so?"

"No, I don't think so I know so, I mean we've already had this conversation about me and Jess, its just right and there won't be anyone else I can feel it…like it was in my DNA or something, you know?" Rory asked her mom not sure she had ever felt that way about someone.

"Yeah, I do…kid what is it about us that just falls for those Danes?"

"I don't know mom, but maybe…if you think about it…maybe that's why dad is my dad? Maybe you couldn't have fallen really in love with Luke until I fell in love with Jess because other wise it would just be too weird, like destiny or something." Rory mused leaning back in the swing.

"Maybe…" Lorelai said leaning back too. "So I'm sorry but I have to ask are you…prepared?"

"Prepared?"

"For Jess I mean you guys are ready to be safe right?" Lorelai asked with a worried look on her face.

"Yeah, super safe, I went on the pill a while ago and Jess will definitely be…prepared."

"You sure he will be?"

"100, no but that's why I'm on the pill."

"Well I could give you some just in case…you know just in case you wanted." Lorelai offered.

"That would be good thanks mom." Rory said noticing it was already starting to get dark. "So should we go see about dinner?"

"Yeah, lets go." Lorelai said and she and Rory walked into the dinning room and helped set up. When it finally came time for dinner Rory went upstairs to get Jess.

A/N: I think that was a pretty good chapter sure nothing happened but it was just a nice day.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I am sorry it took me so long to update I mean, 6 days this is so not me but I have been super busy lately and at least it will comfort you that they will be 'together' shall we say in this chapter. Okay and just so you know Luke and Lorelai will also be 'together' in this chapter, I have had other JJ fics so I really just feel like this being a straight Lit, so from now on read my little rants so you can figure out about there relationship.

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"Hey," Rory said quietly as she walked into Jess' room.

"Hey," Jess said back putting his book down and patting next to him on the bed so she would sit down.

"We should really get back down there, its dinner time." Rory said while she sat next to him and leaned her head against his chest.

"Then why may I ask are you leaning against my chest?" Jess said as he brushed the hair from around her face.

"Just because we should doesn't mean I want to, you of all people should know that dodger," Rory smiled up at him.

"Hey, low blow, so if were not going down there then what are we doing?"

"Going to my room." Rory said softly kissing Jess so lightly he could barely feel it, the perfect way to tease him.

Rory pulled him up and kissed him so hard he thought he might bruise. She led them out of his and Luke's room across the hall and to the right to hers.

"Rory, I love you," Jess said as soon as she had locked the door behind them.

"Jess, I love you more than I think is imaginable, if I didn't we wouldn't be doing this, so trust me." Rory said leaning back over the bed and taking her sweater off.

"More than anything," was all Jess said, before lying down next to her, and not another word was spoken between either of them until around midnight when Rory woke Jess up.

"Jess you know, I've never done that before…" Rory whispered scared to break yet another perfect moment.

"Yeah, I know…" Jess said a little confused as to where this was going.

"I think we need to do something…"

"Like what?"

"Well I would say we need a song but we already have one don't we?"

"Guns of Brixton," Jess smiled at the reference.

"We need to do something else…"

"Like what exactly?"

"Hmmmmm, what have you never told anyone?"

"When I was five my mom took me to the zoo when she wasn't high, it was one of the best days in my life, my mom was paying attention to me I got to see all of these animals and she even bought me this stuffed Elephant, but when we got to the polar bears she disappeared, I waited for her for hours before I found one of the ladies who was giving a tour and told her, she took me to the admin building in the back of the zoo and when my mom still hadn't come back by closing time she had to call child services…I was in foster care for two days." Jess said knowing that finally someone was safe to tell the stories too, he hoped she didn't have anything like that to tell him but if she did he would be there to hear it, he wouldn't say he was sorry or say how awful that was, he would just sit with her and hold her letting her know it wouldn't happen again if he could do anything about it. Nothing bad would ever happen to Rory if he could help it. "What about you?"

"I saw my dad once when he was drunk, he came to our house, my mom thinks I was sleeping she never told me about it, but I was eight and knew exactly what was happening. He tried to kiss her and when she pushed him away, telling him that he was drunk, he pushed her, hard. She fell on the ground and broke two fingers because she landed on them, and almost got a concussion she fell so hard. He didn't even help he just got in his car and drove off." Rory said almost tearing up, she had never told anyone what she saw. Her and Jess had this mutual silent agreement that neither of these things would ever be spoken. Jess would tell Rory other horrors from his past, but after he got them out, they both knew if you spoke about them you were just letting them back in. Since Rory had revealed her one true horror, she could do nothing more for Jess than hold him, but really that was more than anyone had ever done for him.

"Rory I love you," Jess said after they had listened to the sounds of the inn at midnight.

"Jess I love you," Rory mirrored his comment meaning it more than she thought was possible.

"This is it right? No one else but you?" Jess asked sleep almost coming back into his voice.

"This is forever," Rory confirmed still wide awake.

"Then are we moving in together?" Jess asked his voice completely laced with sleep and asking a question he had planned on waiting to ask but meaning every word of it.

"Absolutely," Rory said knowing that he would remember what he was saying in the morning.

"You're perfect,"

"No I'm not perfect, were just perfect for each other, your just perfect to me." Rory said seeing Jess fall asleep and getting out of bed.

She walked down the stairs and looked at how peaceful the inn seemed at night, its darkness streaked with light from the wide windows. She continued until she reached the kitchen and was not set back in the least to see her mother sitting under one light eating ice cream and drinking coffee. She was even less surprised to see her mother slide a container of Phish Food towards Rory when she sat down. Rory leaned over to where the radio was and turned it up so the soft music flooded through the kitchen lightly.

Under the weight of your wings  
You are a god and whatever I want you to be  
And I wonder if truly you are  
Nearly as beautiful as I believe

In my head  
Your voice  
You've got all that I need  
And this make believe will get me through  
Another lonely night

Under the weight of your wings  
Should ever we meet on your side of your stereo  
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts  
And even the way that they mirror my own  
I'll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go

In my head  
Your voice  
You've got all that I need  
And this make believe will get me through  
Another lonely night

Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat  
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet  
Love on repeat  
I'm echoing all your philosophies  
And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat  
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet  
Love on repeat   
I'm echoing all your philosophies  
And as I...

Oh... 

I don't  
Wanna be fool-hearted  
Baby, I'm out  
Numbered in my head  
I don't  
I don't wanna be fool-hearted  
Baby, I'm out  
Numbered in my head  
My head...

In my head   
Your voice  
You've got all that I need  
And this make believe will get me through  
Another night

Yeah, your voice  
You've got all that I need  
And this make believe will get me through  
Another lonely night

Lonely night... 

Under the weight of your wings  
I make believe you are all that I'll ever need

All that I need...

Both Lorelai and Rory knew that everything was a beautiful as they believed.

A/N: I figured you guys deserved a good chapter for having to wait so long, it may not have been quite as happy as I had originally wanted it to be, but I think it was considerably deep and thoughtful so that is just as good. Oh and the lyrics are 'In my head' by Anna Nalick.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Okay wow I suck I mean its been way to long since I updated hasn't it…anyways I think my problem was I knew where I wanted my other stories to go, but this one was kind of just pointless fluff you know? But I think I've finally decided on what my stories are going to be (I'll include the entire list for those of you who read my other stories) Its always been him- super dramatic people getting into fights fic, Coffee changes everything- my super, super AU fic, Everything is alright- my baby fic, and the new one that I'm writing that hasn't even been posted yet that I don't even have a title for- my yelling slightly angsty but all ends well fic. So now that you've listen to me go on and on about things you really don't care about I'll let you read the story.

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"It's always been you," Rory whispered coming back to bed after she spent the night sitting with her mom talking about everything that was going on. Jess was still asleep and only subconsciously hears the words she whispered.

"I love you," Jess mumbled back still sleeping.

"I love you too," Rory said moving down in the bed to go to sleep

RJRJR

"Wake up," Rory whispered into Jess' lips as she kissed him awake.

"Mmmnnn," Jess argued still not conscious.

"Come on wake up," Rory begged into his ear licking it slightly which got Jess' attention.

"Okay I'm up," Jess groaned rolling onto his back and mocked. "Oh my god you haven't had coffee yet have you?"

"I will have you know that I am not my mother and I do not **need** coffee…but no I haven't had coffee yet, I woke up like five minutes ago I haven't even stepped outside the room." Rory said first defensively then sheepishly.

"Well you look gorgeous," Jess smiled tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Nice save," Rory smiled taking her hand to meet his and kissed him. "And you have nice hair in the mornings, why do you even gel it doesn't it just stay like that?"

"For your information my hair doesn't normally look this good in the mornings…its called sex hair," Jess laughed.

"Do I have sex hair?" Rory whined feeling her hair for any funkiness.

"You have beautiful sex hair," Jess murmured into Rory's neck where he was currently kissing.

"Yeah, but all the boys say that," Rory laughed

"How would any of the other boys know?" Jess asked quirking an eyebrow.

"What you don't think you're my only one do you?" Rory laughed trying to put on her serious face.

Jess attacked her and flipped them so he was hovering above her. "I know for a fact I'm the only one who has ever done that to you," Jess whispered into her ear, making her shiver.

"Jess," Rory whispered, "We have to go downstairs, we missed dinner last night and my mom is waiting to tease you mercilessly,"

"And you think I'm going down there for that why?" Jess raised his eyebrows again.

"I think you know exactly why," Rory raised her eyebrows to match his.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah,"

Jess and Rory got dressed and ready (with just a few 'interruptions') then went down to breakfast where everyone began to stare at them. They had known that Rory and Jess were back together but they hadn't known that it was quite that…serious.

"You think you could get them to stop staring?" Jess whispered to Rory.

"No but mom can," Rory laughed and pulled Jess over to where Lorelai and Luke were sitting and not eating there breakfast, they were talking to much. "Mom you haven't even touched your coffee, what's wrong do you have a tumor?"

"Haha, no I don't have a tumor, I was just talking to Luke am I not allowed to talk?" Lorelai laughed pulling Rory's hand from her forehead.

"Not without coffee, no," Rory said very serious.

"Um do I have to remind you that you haven't even **had** coffee today?" Jess said sitting next to her.

"Rory!" Lorelai shouted, sure she hadn't touched the cup she had but she had had three others this morning.

"What?" Rory yelled back.

"How can you not have had coffee this morning?"

"I just haven't yet okay?" Rory said getting defensive.

"Okay just promise to never let this happen again…at least not until your pregnant," Lorelai laughed at Jess choking on the bagel he had just grabbed and Rory patting him on the back.

"Mom!"

"Which will not be for many many more years," Lorelai added trying to act innocent.

"Okay if I promise will you get everyone to stop staring at Jess?" Rory asked keeping her hand on Jess' back after she had stopped rubbing it.

"Sure," Lorelai said with her evil look on, before she took Luke by the collar of his shirt and kissed him rather passionately, bordering on making out.

Everyone took there attention from one couple to the next. The mummurs grew louder at the towns newest couple. No one had know about it until just then, they had kept it quite wanting there peace. But that wasn't going to last with everyone in the crowd now knowing, especially the person who spoke next.

"Lorelai?" The person asked quietly from across the dinning room. Lorelai whipped her head around to face…

A/N: Sorry I've got to leave you hanging, I need the drama it was just to light and fluffy it needed weight, or at least I think it did, so please give me some ideas on who the person should be and just other general ideas because I'm running out of them and you guys don't want the story to end do you?


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: So the people have spoken, almost everyone said that it was going to be the person I used so I used them it would have been almost the same conversation either way, and I'll give my reason for using this person versus another in my next A/N.

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"_Lorelai?" The person asked quietly from across the dinning room. Lorelai whipped her head around to face…_

…Christopher Hayden.

"Chris?" Lorelai asked incredulously.

"What the hell?"

"What the hell is right what the hell are you doing here, I don't remember giving you an invitation and I'm pretty sure Rory didn't either, how did you even know about this?"

"Your mom,"

"Oh of course it was Emily even when she's on the outs with dad she still has time to medal in my affairs…Chris leave," Lorelai practically yelled while everyone was watching, kind of like a train wreck.

"No, this is a big day for you and Rory so I think I have a right to be here,"

"Hey don't bring me into this," Rory said from the table thinking that maybe they should just finally have it out and that would maybe get rid of all of there left over…emotional energy.

"Yeah Chris this is between me and you, now your right this is a huge day for me, like the third biggest day in my life, and you are not invited." Lorelai yelled

"What are you doing with this guy?" Chris said ignoring the glares he was getting from the entire table.

"You do not have the right to ask me that question, you gave it up a long time ago…but you wanna have this out then fine lets have this out," Lorelai said grabbing Luke's hand and stomping of to her office with Chris close behind.

"Lorelai what are we doing?" Luke asked when all three were safely locked inside.

"We are having this out…now Chris as soon as we do this you forfeit all of your rights in my life, okay?" Lorelai asked looking dead serious.

"I'm not sure what's going on but okay," Chris said uncertain.

"Chris what's my favorite color?" Lorelai asked very serious.

"What are we doing?" Chris asked confused.

"Well the only reason you could ever possibly have objections to me dating Luke is you think your better for me than Luke…well I'm trying to see who knows me better, you or Luke, so once again what's my favorite color?"

"Purple?" Chris guessed.

"Eh, wrong Luke?"

"Pink," Luke answered confidently looking at Chris like he was stupid.

"What is my favorite present of all time?" Lorelai asked looking straight at Chris.

"Um…the Jeep?" Chris asked not even sure if that was a gift.

"I bought the Jeep my self…Luke?"

"The coffee mug I helped Rory paint when she was five," Luke said starting to like this game. (I don't know if they knew Luke then but just work with me)

"What's my least favorite day of the week?" Lorelai asked now smiling in a sadistic sort of way.

"Um, Tuesdays," Chris said in a complete guess.

"No," Lorelai then prompted at Luke.

"Fridays, dinner with the parents," Luke said still looking at Chris like he was an idiot.

"Chris do you really want to continue this humiliation or are you ready to leave me alone yet?" Lorelai said looking incredulous.

"So he knows your favorite color what does that mean?" Chris asked still not giving up.

"It means everything, it means he bothered to get to know me, it means that he'll know when I'm upset and when I need to talk about something, versus when I need some time to myself…he knows me, Chris and I've known you for over 20 years and in all that time you don't know what my favorite band is… that just shows me how little you really care, but if you want to go on deeds instead of knowledge that's fine with me…Luke has been to every single birthday party for me and Rory since we met while you barely even send her gifts, Luke took in a pretty troubled kid who's know responsible and a tiny bit respectful because of him while you can't even find time for your own kid, Chris there is no way you can win so why are you even trying?" Lorelai asked looking for an answer to why he always just showed up and left, and hurt everyone.

"I don't know," Chris said quietly and left, hopefully for good.

"I'm so drained," Lorelai whispered leaning against Luke.

"Getting rid of the father of your kid can do that to you," Luke laughed, happy about all the things Lorelai just said about him.

"Luke,"

"Yeah,"

"I love you,"

"Lorelai I've loved since the day you gave me that horoscope," Luke smiled and hugged her.

A/N: Okay now I used Chris because he's the reason the broke up for a while after Richard and Emily's wedding, so if the settled everything here then he won't be coming to the wedding so they can get engaged sooner, so then they can get married before the whole April thing, and have sort of a butterfly effect.

Okay now next chapter your going to get kind of a little shock…maybe two, but review with some ideas and I'll see what I can do.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Welcome to the third to last chapter of 'It's always been him'. I'm doing one more chapter after this then an epilogue. I'm sorry I've had my story line planned out and that's just how it fits…all good things must come to an end or so they say, but who knows someday I might do a sequel…

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Chris left Lorelai's office dejected and depressed. He thought that if he showed up then Lorelai would take him back, but now she was with that diner guy and Rory won't talk to him…everything was going to hell. Even Gigi was a nightmare these days. That's when he saw his daughter practically mauling the guy he had seen at the table before.

"What are you doing?" Chris yelled despite the fact that he really had no claim on what (or who) Rory did.

"Trying to swallow my tongue," Jess said leaning back in his chair despite the evil looks he was getting by Rory, he didn't like Chris, he'd left once, but Chris got Rory's hopes up and crushed them time and time again.

"And what exactly gives you the right…" Chris began before being interrupted by a very angry Rory.

"What gives you the right to say anything about anything I do?"

"Rory I'm your father,"

"Barely," Rory screamed, everyone had left to gossip about what had just went on between Lorelai Luke and Chris, not expecting an encore.

"Still…" Chris couldn't argue that he hadn't been there for her.

"No there is no still, your either in or your out and frankly you've been out my entire life you don't just get to decide your in…you've messed with me and mom to much, the next time I hear from you some one either be in the hospital, dying, or dead…understand?"

"Rory…"

"No Chris," (A/N: Oh that was a low blow calling him Chris) "You're done I expect mom already told you to stay away from her and I'm telling you now to stay away from me and mine, frankly I think it would be in your best interest to stay away from me and mom otherwise I doubt you'll even be invited to the huge things in my life…I'll have grandma tell Francine about it when I get married." Rory said with her withering stare (Very dangerous).

"You wouldn't do that to me Rory I'm your dad,"

"I think your under estimating me…I'm tired of being messed with and I want you out of my life now!" Rory was yelling again withering stare still in place.

"Oh you're tired of being messed with? Then why are you with him? I know that he crashed your car then left without saying anything, and did it again when you were dating," Chris said trying but failing miserably to defend himself.

"Hey, you don't know anything about me, You want to talk about leaving…Rory got a fractured wrist you got Lorelai pregnant, I was forced to leave after that you went voluntarily, and then when I went the second time I was failing school I was failing Rory Luke was going to kick me out and my dad who I didn't even know if he was alive had just left but no compared to all the times you left them for no reason what so ever other than you felt like it, that's really horrible, god they're telling you to leave why can't you just get it through your head that they don't want you here?" Jess raved not liking being questioned by the mad that constantly abandoned Rory her entire life.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Chris yelled back

"Go home," Rory yelled at him "Raise one of your kids at least, damn we don't care what you do just because you will be a 16 year old boy for the rest of your life doesn't mean that you get to ruin what those of us who take responsibility have…I'm done arguing and frankly I know that Jess and Luke would really love to hit you right now and I'm seriously considering letting them, okay?"

"Fine I'll leave, I'm gone," Chris said leaving the inn for the first and last time.

"Oh thank god," Rory said leaning exhaustedly on Jess.

"He's gone its fine," Jess whispered reassuringly into her ear.

"Good, I really didn't need that today," Rory said looking up at Jess.

"Yeah I know but I don't think he'll come around uninvited anymore, and doesn't that mean something, plus you could always just think about last night…" Jess said getting suggestive at the last comment.

"Or we could always repeat it," Rory smiled, all thoughts of Chris' intrusion completely out the window.

"That's very true," Jess said smiling then leaned down and kissed her reminding her of just what could be happening.

When they stopped for air, Rory looked at him her eyes a little hazy, then grabbed his hand and rushed upstairs.

Then Luke and Lorelai came out of the office not really hearing any of the shouting match because of their own activites that were parallel to the ones that Jess and Rory were currently engaged in.

"Lorelai?"

"Yes my dear," Lorelai said back in her playful mood.

"You said that this was the third most important day in you life…what were the others?"

"The first was the day that Rory was born, and the second was Liz's wedding when we kissed," Lorelai stated easily looking up at Luke.

Luke just grinned and pulled her closer.

A/N: So what do you guys think…was that not shocking enough? Sorry but I'm just not very soap opera, I think that Chris yelling at Rory and Jess was kind of shocking but then again I wrote it I'm objective which is why I have you guys…


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So this is the final chapter before the epilogue…I know but its just how the story line that I have in my head works, and originally I wasn't going to put Dean in this but if you request it then you get it so, Dean. Plus I think It'll be really fun to write Dean, because he's married but he still wants Rory so of course we get to have the you should be institutionalized moment and those are always fun,

Oh and just to warn some of the more sensitive people sex will be talked about a lot in this chapter, not described just talked about…

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"Good Morning," Jess whispered kissing Rory's forehead.

"Good Morning," Rory said with a sleep laced voice stretching out, "You know my mother is brilliant, these sleeping arrangements are working out really well,"

"That they are," Jess smiled sliding down on the bed next to her, "But then again I think that they most benefit Luke, he gets to sleep with your mom, and use me as an excuse not to do early morning deliveries because 'I'm closer and since I'm staying in his apartment rent free I should at least help out'"

"Hey it works well for you too, after all if we weren't sleeping here then we couldn't have done what we did last night," Rory smiled looking up at Jess.

"Or the six times yesterday that I took a 'break', seriously you are bordering on nymphomania," Jess laughed back at her.

"I am not a nymphomaniac," Rory protested.

"Sure you aren't, I had to start buying condoms in bulk, what does that tell you?" Jess laughed.

"That… tells me…that…that… oh just shut up," Rory attempted to defend.

"If it helps at all now I get to say I buy condoms in bulk," Jess laughed at her flustered state.

"Bragging are we?" Rory asked smiling now.

"Any chance I get, I mean besides you what else do I have to brag about?" Jess joked getting up and started getting dressed

"How about how brilliant you are that always works," Rory joked getting up with him.

"Well that would work but its kind of hard to convince people that you are brilliant when they know you dropped out of high school," Jess laughed pulling a shirt over his head.

"Did you ever take an IQ test?" Rory asked suddenly thinking about it.

"Yeah twice, once when I was in the third grade and then when I got my GED," Jess said simply not remembering that he was going to surprise Rory with the fact that he got his GED later.

"You got your GED?" Rory asked incredulous as to why he wouldn't tell her.

"Yeah I was going to surprise you…sorry," Jess said sheepishly not sure if she was mad or not.

"That's great," Rory said running over and started making out with him until she heard the word nymphomaniac and pulled back blushing, "But lets not change the subject, what was your score?"

"148," Jess said pulling on a shoe.

"148, damn I wish I was that smart," Rory said astounded, "So did they make you register for anything?"

"Yeah, apparently they take being a 'genius' very serious," Jess mocked.

"You should have told that to my mom when we were dating before she might have liked you then," Rory laughed.

"As surprising as this may be you were the only one I was willing to tell anything to and that's only if you asked me a direct question," Jess said finally finding his other shoe. "Come on I'll get Luke to make you pancakes,"

"Oh pancakes," Rory said immediately jumping towards the door.

"God you are just like your mother," Jess laughed following her.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Rory said pulling back the curtain and then stopped all of a sudden, "Dean,"

Jess stopped right behind her and saw Dean, as much as he would have liked to hit the guy he was just thinking about Rory, "It's okay just sit down at the counter it looks like he's getting food for Tom he should be leaving any second,"

Rory did just that and sat at the counter in the very middle, so she wouldn't be sitting right next to Dean but still not giving him the impression that she was avoiding him.

"So could I get some bacon, hash-browns, and coffee to go with those pancakes?" Rory asked sweetly giving her best 'please' eyes.

"Sure just don't tell Luke I'm giving you coffee he'd be on me about being a traitor," Jess said pouring her coffee, then decided to direct the problem head on, "What do you need?"

"Well aren't we just friendly this afternoon?" Dean asked happy to annoy Jess, sadly he didn't know what was going on with Rory and Jess as he was not only stupid but out of the gossip loop, and didn't notice that Rory and Jess came down from the apartment.

"This isn't McDonalds and I don't have to smile, now either order something or go find a mirror to stare at for the next three years," Said a surprisingly calm and not surprisingly sarcastic Jess.

"Oh touchy…I want…" Dean said filling the crew's orders.

"Good now you can leave," Jess said looking like he wanted to be euthanized he was so bored.

"But I still have to take the food back, don't I?" Dean said looking at Jess like he was the stupid one instead of Dean himself.

"I'll get Kirk to do it," Jess said blandly the looking over to Kirks table; "You'd love to wouldn't you Kirk?"

"Absolutely," Kirk said looking up from his lunch

"Kirk you don't even know what were talking about," Dean argued.

"I can't be giving up perfectly good career opportunities, and Jess wouldn't make me do anything to bad Rory's here," Kirk smiled with the knowledge that he might be getting paid.

"Exactly," Jess said smirking towards Dean

"Rory," Dean muttered.

"Yeah Rory you know kind of short, smart, my girlfriend," Jess taunted practically begging him to say something to make Jess hit him.

"No you guys broke up," Dean said disbelieving the information and looking at Rory to confirm his denial.

"Yeah well we got back together, where have you been for like the past month?," Jess smiled at Rory who beamed back.

"But he left," Dean said now only paying attention to Rory.

"Yep," Rory said deciding to take the Jess way of dealing with things, one word answers.

"He didn't tell you,"

"Uh-huh,"

"He failed high school,"

"Got his GED,"

"He…he…" Dean tried again but couldn't think of anything else Jess did.

"Wow I mean when you did leave I was really upset but when he lists it out like that he doesn't really seem like such a big deal," Rory commented turning to Jess.

"But Rory…" Dean said whining slightly.

"What Dean you couldn't have me even if Jess didn't or have you forgotten you're **married**?" Rory asked not believing that he actually thought he could say anything. "I mean what did you think, honestly?"

"Well I was just…I mean…" Dean stumbled over his own words.

"You're foods up," Jess said pointing to the bags in Ceasar's hands.

"Yeah," Dean said quietly picking up his food and getting out of the diner as quickly as possible, especially with Kirk watching.

"Well that was certainly interesting," Jess said looking around, "Where's Luke, have you seen him?"

"No, not since we got down, isn't he supposed to be here for the lunch rush?" Rory asked now looking around to.

"Yeah he is," Jess said smiling after finally figuring out where Luke was, "I haven't seen your mom today either,"

"You don't think? Ug, I'm glad I'm not living there anymore, I don't want to have to picture that every time I'm there," Rory shuddered.

"Just think about it this way soon you may have a new daddy," Jess joked

"Then you'll have a new aunt," Rory retorted.

"Creepy,"

"Oh my god I didn't even think about that…eww," Rory shuddered again.

"Just don't think about it," Jess suggested

"Good idea," Rory said smirking, "Hey Jess I think it was a very good idea to buy in bulk,"

"Again?" Jess asked astonished, Rory just nodded. "Uh, Ceasar I'm taking a break,"

And with that Rory and Jess ran upstairs to put that bulk order to good use.

A/N: Don't worry guys I still have my Epilogue to do and I'm thinking its going to be really, really good.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Okay this is the end, my epilogue I might have a sequel very far in the future if there's demand for it but I'm running out of idea's and I think it would be better left like this, but if you guys want more I can always do more…

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Dear Rory,

Lets hope you don't find this letter before your meant to again, huh? Like I said in the last letter you'd have no clue how much I love you until you had a daughter of your own, well now you have a daughter of your own. She is so beautiful, you and Jess did such a great job raising her, I think she could read before she could speak, and Jess and Luke did break her down and got her to eat all those things not laced with sugar and fat, we tried to tell them that it didn't matter she had the Gilmore genes and she could survive on Doritos her entire life and not have any complications but did they listen? No, those diner men never do. Our diner men. I guess we know the reason for Christopher now don't we? Because if he wasn't your father then Luke might have been, and you wouldn't have gotten to have Jess. Life makes sense when your happy doesn't it? Everything starts to have a purpose and you see that things just have to happen they way they do. I can't begin to explain how much I love any of you guys…but then again you know now don't you? You know how much I love you because you have Sophie, Charlie, and the new little guy what ever his name will be. You know how much I love Luke because Jess is your Luke. I guess you know more about love than I do, you have a brother and two sisters don't you? I guess I'll never know how much you love them, but I can see it. They love you two sweets they talk about you all the time, they really like that they have a sister who's 20 years older than them, I guess you could be there mom couldn't you? They love that they have a niece that's older than them and they love that you guys live so close. Now I guess I should get on with the me dying part huh? Well babe help Luke, I can't imagine what this will do to him and frankly I can't imagine life without him so maybe its okay with me that I went first. Make sure the kids play, read or what ever they can't just sit in stuffy close and do what ever mom wants them to. Oh and as weird as this may sound you have to make sure Jess cries even if its only around you, that boy is so stubborn and he wont do it unless you make him. Oh and about this whole funeral business I want you to know I was serious about no one wearing black, I'm not a sad person and I don't want my funeral to be sad because basically lets face it I'm awesome and it just shouldn't be sad…so this is way more detailed then the last one huh? Well that's because I left the really detailed one to Luke last time, I thought that he'd be most together after and you wouldn't really be up to dealing with any of that but now I'm thinking he'll take it the hardest so its up to you and Jess babe. Make Luke wear the flannel and baseball cap, Jess has to wear his leather jacket even though he retired it years ago, any I want you to wear the rodeo outfit, trust me it will fit. Oh and I know this isn't the time to gloat but I was right about Jess wasn't I? You two are so amazing, sometimes when you've fallen asleep on movie nights he just looks at you with the most incredible look in his eyes, its amazing. I love you kid, maybe since Sophie wasn't your entire world for such a long time you don't know just how much I love you, but maybe you do…give Sophie the coffee,

Love,

The incredible and sexy Lorelai

P.S. It was always him wasn't it?


End file.
